Feeling lonely and low
Craving contact but also not fully wanting it
Stuck running through a field of wilting flowers
Using all my might to refrain from reaching out
Instead retreating back in
So I can emerge on my own
Rise towards myself by myself
Yet yearning for someone to call out
Conflicting chaos spinning in my mind
Gnawing at my every thought
Sensible to the how of shaping and re-shaping
but unknowingly unsure where to begin
dubious to add weight onto other shoulders
Carrying the load alone
Inviting the crushing darkness in
Slamming the door on any other entry
Pushing away the love I don’t know what to do with
Perpetuating a complex of
complexities
Holding, clutching onto what is told, not what is or making it what it is
On the verge of colliding back into myself
-MWAM